Is this a good irish essay for the jc ?
Any mistakes ?
Should I add anything more ?
It's really good but maybe change it so it's happening to you and not who you're with. You need more a lot focus on describing what happens to Aoife and what happened after she as taken away (hospital, doctors, etc). I always broke my leg no matter what the story was (this was the one on my junior cert), and that let me focus and structure paragraphs so I could always use the same phrases and descriptions.